Winning an argument..

Written on Friday, July 24, 2009 by Siddharth PV

I am not sure what's the best and sureshot way to win an argument (am not even sure if there is one).
But corporate life has taught me a technique that can significantly help increase the chances of winning one.

The technique is:

*  When faced with an argumentative discussion, let the opposite party speak up first.
    Be a good listener. Encourage your adversary to come clean about his thoughts on the issue.
    (Chances are this will happen readily as most people believe in the first mover advantage too much..)

* Note each and every reason / pain-point mentioned by him in favor of his argument
   When he is done, its payback time.
   For each and every reason mentioned by him, give him your counter-logic and argue it out.

The advantage of doing this is:
Once you opponent has finished speaking you might realize that his pain-points are completely different from what you had in mind.
Knowing your opponent's arguments is equivalent to knowing his best cards. Now you can modify your arguments accordingly.

But, another important thing to be able to do this is - one has to learn to be passionate (and not EMOTIONAL) about issues.

| 1 comments

Getting Bored of Things..

Written on Saturday, July 18, 2009 by Siddharth PV

Written on one of those days when nothing exciting's happening in Bangalore..
Or let me say - I HAVEN'T been able to find anything exciting to do out here..

Getting Bored of Things..

You move to a new town..
The town delights you with its new sights and sounds..
 
There's a new world out there waiting to be explored..
Life is beautiful, no chance of getting bored..
 
The answer to 'What's Up' is nothing short of a 1000 words..
Or a 10 minute speech.. Full of the choicest expressions..
 
You settle in..
You dont know when, but familiarity creeps in..
 
Slowly, you have gotten used to the town..
Before you know it - you are wearing a frown..
 
New activities always hold a lot of promise.. Some even run the entire course..
But some of them are fads of course..
 
Parallely, you have new people to meet and greet..
They have interesting stories to say.. And you lap it up, wihtout missing a beat..
 
But over time, people also become a little predictable..
And within some time, the fable has drained down to a babel..
 
---------------------------

So what does a guy do to / should a guy do to overcome this trap of boredom?
[Its almost like time-based promotions - even if you do nothing, it will definitely happen to you over time]
 
1. Once a while, plan a trip to a new place in the vicinity
2. Take up some activity he is REALLY interested in. It could be Music, A Sport, Photography - whatever..
   And follow it religiously..
3. Make a CONSCIOUS effort to meet up with newer people
 
----------------------------
 
PS:
Bangalore is actually a very nice place. Great weather.. Green parks..
Buzzing culture scene.. Lots of music concerts.. Quite a few great place to eat.. A very young crowd to keep all this going..
 
Just that I am having a bad day..

| 2 comments

Why you need to fail...

Written on Tuesday, July 07, 2009 by Siddharth PV

Great post by Peter Bregman at HarvardBusiness.org :

 

Excerpts:

---

A muscle only grows if you work it till it fails. You need to use more challenging weights. You need to fail."

---

Every time I ask a room of executives to list the top five moments their career took a leap forward — not just a step, but a leap — failure is always on the list. For some it was the loss of a job. For others it was a project gone bad. And for others still it was the failure of a larger system, like an economic downturn, that required them to step up.

Yet most of us spend a tremendous effort trying to avoid even the possibility of failure.

---

If you believe that your talents are inborn or fixed, then you will try to avoid failure at all costs because failure is proof of your limitation. People with a fixed mindset like to solve the same problems over and over again. It reinforces their sense of competence.

 

But if you believe your talent grows with persistence and effort, then you seek failure as an opportunity to improve. People with a growth mindset feel smart when they're learning, not when they're flawless.

---

Michael Jordan, arguably the world's best basketball player, has a growth mindset. Most successful people do. In high school he was cut from the basketball team but that obviously didn't discourage him: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game wining shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

---

Want to increase your own performance? Set high goals where you have a 50-70% chance of success. According to Psychologist and Harvard researcher the late David McClelland, that's the sweet spot for high achievers. Then, when you fail half the time, figure out what you should do differently and try again. That's practice. And according to recent studies, 10,000 hours of that kind of practice will make you an expert in anything. No matter where you start.

---


Key takeaways:

Try more stuff all the time. More importantly, try different stuff all the time. Know that you might fail. Its okay – just make sure you learn from it.

The real growth always happens outside our area of comfprt.

| 2 comments

Winning an argument..

I am not sure what's the best and sureshot way to win an argument (am not even sure if there is one).
But corporate life has taught me a technique that can significantly help increase the chances of winning one.

The technique is:

*  When faced with an argumentative discussion, let the opposite party speak up first.
    Be a good listener. Encourage your adversary to come clean about his thoughts on the issue.
    (Chances are this will happen readily as most people believe in the first mover advantage too much..)

* Note each and every reason / pain-point mentioned by him in favor of his argument
   When he is done, its payback time.
   For each and every reason mentioned by him, give him your counter-logic and argue it out.

The advantage of doing this is:
Once you opponent has finished speaking you might realize that his pain-points are completely different from what you had in mind.
Knowing your opponent's arguments is equivalent to knowing his best cards. Now you can modify your arguments accordingly.

But, another important thing to be able to do this is - one has to learn to be passionate (and not EMOTIONAL) about issues.

Getting Bored of Things..

Written on one of those days when nothing exciting's happening in Bangalore..
Or let me say - I HAVEN'T been able to find anything exciting to do out here..

Getting Bored of Things..

You move to a new town..
The town delights you with its new sights and sounds..
 
There's a new world out there waiting to be explored..
Life is beautiful, no chance of getting bored..
 
The answer to 'What's Up' is nothing short of a 1000 words..
Or a 10 minute speech.. Full of the choicest expressions..
 
You settle in..
You dont know when, but familiarity creeps in..
 
Slowly, you have gotten used to the town..
Before you know it - you are wearing a frown..
 
New activities always hold a lot of promise.. Some even run the entire course..
But some of them are fads of course..
 
Parallely, you have new people to meet and greet..
They have interesting stories to say.. And you lap it up, wihtout missing a beat..
 
But over time, people also become a little predictable..
And within some time, the fable has drained down to a babel..
 
---------------------------

So what does a guy do to / should a guy do to overcome this trap of boredom?
[Its almost like time-based promotions - even if you do nothing, it will definitely happen to you over time]
 
1. Once a while, plan a trip to a new place in the vicinity
2. Take up some activity he is REALLY interested in. It could be Music, A Sport, Photography - whatever..
   And follow it religiously..
3. Make a CONSCIOUS effort to meet up with newer people
 
----------------------------
 
PS:
Bangalore is actually a very nice place. Great weather.. Green parks..
Buzzing culture scene.. Lots of music concerts.. Quite a few great place to eat.. A very young crowd to keep all this going..
 
Just that I am having a bad day..

Why you need to fail...

Great post by Peter Bregman at HarvardBusiness.org :

 

Excerpts:

---

A muscle only grows if you work it till it fails. You need to use more challenging weights. You need to fail."

---

Every time I ask a room of executives to list the top five moments their career took a leap forward — not just a step, but a leap — failure is always on the list. For some it was the loss of a job. For others it was a project gone bad. And for others still it was the failure of a larger system, like an economic downturn, that required them to step up.

Yet most of us spend a tremendous effort trying to avoid even the possibility of failure.

---

If you believe that your talents are inborn or fixed, then you will try to avoid failure at all costs because failure is proof of your limitation. People with a fixed mindset like to solve the same problems over and over again. It reinforces their sense of competence.

 

But if you believe your talent grows with persistence and effort, then you seek failure as an opportunity to improve. People with a growth mindset feel smart when they're learning, not when they're flawless.

---

Michael Jordan, arguably the world's best basketball player, has a growth mindset. Most successful people do. In high school he was cut from the basketball team but that obviously didn't discourage him: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game wining shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

---

Want to increase your own performance? Set high goals where you have a 50-70% chance of success. According to Psychologist and Harvard researcher the late David McClelland, that's the sweet spot for high achievers. Then, when you fail half the time, figure out what you should do differently and try again. That's practice. And according to recent studies, 10,000 hours of that kind of practice will make you an expert in anything. No matter where you start.

---


Key takeaways:

Try more stuff all the time. More importantly, try different stuff all the time. Know that you might fail. Its okay – just make sure you learn from it.

The real growth always happens outside our area of comfprt.

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